A Kenyan Traditional Marriage
Marriage in Kenya is an important social and moral obligation of the people. If you happen to visit Kenya, you will be surprised to learn that most people and families regard a married person or couple in higher esteem than those who are unmarried. When a person attains the marriageable age or when the parents and relatives think that the boy or girl is old enough, they start to make hints and suggestions to the concerned people. Often a person, who is of marriageable age, is innocently introduced to the suitor. Most aunts are especially notorious for this. Mothers also start asking their children when they are planning to give birth to their namesake. Mothers also pressurize their wards by informing them that they do not want to die without seeing their children’s offspring.
In earlier times, parents played an important role in seeking suitable suitors for their wards. They had the final say and decision on the best person to marry their daughter and introduce them. Most of the time the girls could not express their feelings and so they had to marry a person whom she did not love, just to please her parents. However, due to the interactions with other societies that are more open, the girls in Kenya now have more freedom in choosing their husbands.
After a successful meeting with the girl’s parents, it is the duty of the male person to go and inform his parents that he has spotted his future wife to be in a particular locality and house. A meeting is then arranged with the groom’s parents. Some elderly clan members or relatives are then deputed to the girl’s house and request her parents to marry off their daughter to their relative’s son.
At this juncture, the parents and relatives of the girl refuse to give her away unless some of their demands are met. This may be in the form of some payments which is known as dowry. Negotiations on the amount of money and other gifts such as goats and cows are held, though nowadays some might want hybrid cars! After much haggling, an agreement is reached on the price, which is sealed by the serving of traditional beer. A date if fixed for the payment of the dowry. On the day when the payment is made there is celebration and fun. The girl is taken by the boy’s family to their house. She now belongs to the boy’s family and can return back to her family only if the bride money is returned.
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